Essays You Didn't Read

Essays You Didn't Read

      I was well into my semi-decadal cleaning of the floor below my computers when I carelessly tipped over the bit bucket and discovered a sludge of deleted essays. Being in a contemplative mood, I sat back and read the long-forgotten screeds, quickly understanding why readers never got to “enjoy” them:

Choosing Among The Lesser Of Two Evils

      When they stopped carrying my favorite topsoil at local stores, I was forced to choose among other brands that I didn't really want. Like voting for politicians. The problem is that the lesser of two evils is still evil. Why can't I have exactly what I … {delete}

Do Good Neighbors Make Good Fences?

      The news came that a neighbor I enjoyed chatting with was caught selling stolen property ... {delete}

Growin' 'n' Flowin'

      Stepping onto the shimmering lawn of diamond-like dew with my viscous coffee, I felt that I was in a jeweler's display window. Turning east I watched as the pearly morning light spread across the hemisphere of the sky like liquid milk, spattering cholesterol across the faces of the waiting daffodils … {delete}

Dreary

      This marks the 3^rd straight day of rain and chill. The garden is untouched, and I'm trapped in the house looking at pictures of last year's azaleas. Even the act of scraping the newly formed fungus off the dining room walls doesn't lift my spir … {delete}

Sometimes my inspiration runs dry as ...

Garden Rainbows

      I was dumbfounded to see the spectrum of flowers catapulting themselves at my eyeballs: coquelicot, deep koamau, flavescent and gamboge competed with grullo and zomp to irradiate my … {delete}

Really Gross Things In The Garden

      Most people would choose slugs, glistening in their bare hands, as the number one object they wouldn't want. However, did you ever consider how stepping into … {delete}

Boy, These Are The Best Roses!

      A famous nursery sent me a selection of roses to grow and then wanted my honest review, despite the fact that my heavily shaded yard would not be a place you would expect to find the sun-loving plants. In return, they would advertise on my blog and send me a monthly check.

Let me tell you, these are the greatest looking roses I have ever … {delete}

      I returned to my cleaning, sadly aware that not everything I said or wrote deserved preservation. The Nobel Prize for Garden Essays just exceeds my grasp ...