You're One or the Other

You're One or the Other

      An old computer joke goes: “There are 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary arithmetic and those who don't.” I'm sure that was told to me by an old computer.

      Just so we are all starting from the same point: “10” is the way you would write the number “2” if you were working in the binary number system used by computers. Looked at that way, the first sentence makes sense.

      We look at things in binary: black and white, us and them, good and bad, good and evil (which is more theological than “good and bad”), butter or Parkay (for those of us of a certain age).

      Not one to rock the boat (you're in the boat or out) I'll bring this around to gardening by noting that gardeners seem to be collectors or landscapers.

      You're a collector if you have to have every fern that is sold, or every azalea hybridized by Ben Morrison. Hunting down the missing ones is part of the sport. Over time, only the rarest are still to be found. They are put in the ground where there is a bare spot next to some plant (the new plant, not the collector). Do you care if the neighboring colors go well together? Do they bloom at the same time? Does one grow rapidly and completely shade the other? Doesn't matter. You almost have them all!

You're NOT a landscaper if you hire one, producing a hardscaped deck area, paths and a Koi pool. The remaining ground will be filled with stuff bought in bulk from a garden center giving a good discount. When the landscaper has left it's all finished. The grounds look OK to you. Your party guests give the required compliments.

      “... it's all finished”?? For a non-gardener it is. For a landscaper a garden is NEVER done. That's another dichotomy to add to the ones above. A landscaping gardener is always moving a plant that matures and then doesn't look as good as hoped. It is replaced by one that was a gift from a fellow gardener. Or a new introduction from a nearby garden center. Or purchased online. And there are always plants in pots: rookies waiting to replace veterans.

      I will have to say that I am on the side of the angels: a landscaper. Collectors are silly creatures who fill gardens with plants named after Disney characters, fill rooms with beer bottles or sports teams memorabilia ... and don't get me started on National Geographics!

      You're a landscaper if you put this plant over there because it looks better and fits into the whole scheme of that section.

      A small plot, even the postage stamp-sized area behind a townhouse, could have a hundred glazed pots in complementary colors with attractive shelving along the fences, all filled with a variety of plants that can be moved around to look good together.

      In contrast, a large area could have a background of tall bushes and small trees with successively smaller plants cascading toward you. A path probably starts there. You might see some small but attractive hosta and heucheras by the path, their leaf textures rewarding you for wandering by. The trail leads to hidden gardens behind the tall plants. Yes, you DO wish you were there!

     

    Collectors are crazy! Why can't everyone be like landscapers? Are you in or out?